Musing on Marriage by Lisa

Two weeks ago, I learned that a friend and former coworker lost his 29-year-old son. Every parent’s worst nightmare, right?  As more information became available, the family courageously revealed that their beloved son and brother, a brilliant young physician, musician, and writer, had taken his own life. This young man’s mother is a psychiatrist, making it all the more wrenching. They gave him a beautiful send-off, with many, many people coming to pay their respects. It is a tragedy, a loss of epic proportion. He was clearly very deeply loved by his family, and while he was very accomplished and successful, he still had much to offer this broken world.

Why do I tell you this? After I sat under the tent outdoors at the funeral in the sweltering heat and listened to so many people sharing anecdotes and sadness and anger and pain, and his father lamenting that there would be no one who could be comfortable with both the homeless and the governor in this world, I had an epiphany. I’m very interested in the topic of how we can help couples succeed in marriage, since admittedly, I have room for improvement. What can we do to help couples be successful? Seems like a complete change of topic, but here is a couple dealing with a crisis that some marriages cannot endure.

I don’t claim to have all of the answers, rather I have a lot of questions.  I had to wonder if it would help to ask oneself some questions about the person to whom one was contemplating making a lifelong commitment. For example, if a young couple could have been there to see the suffering of these parents, would they be able to ask themselves if this person with whom they are in love would be the person they would want next to them if they had to bury their child? Would this potential partner be the right one?

I wonder if young men who are about to be married ever consider the possibility of infertility, of their beautiful wife becoming obsessed with having a baby, her focus turning entirely to that, with the resultant depression and potentially draining their savings?

A few years ago, a friend’s mother had breast cancer in her early fifties. My friend, in her late twenties at the time, told me that in the beginning, she cried frequently about it. She was married with two small children then. Her husband expressed frustration with her one evening during a crying spell. When she told me about it, I said “Now he’s learning what marriage is really about.” Maybe it is about sexual convenience, and two incomes, and having all of the material things you want, and someone to go places with and not having to be alone. Maybe it is about fitting in in a couples world. Maybe it is about love, although I caution against putting too much faith in infatuation (don’t make any decisions in that chemically-induced phase). Certainly it’s about raising a family. But are we realistic enough about how difficult it is, about all of the compromise and responsibility? And if we were, would that help people to choose the right partner, and to be the right partner, and to seek help when it is needed to navigate all of the difficulties?

Sadly, by the time many couples end up in the office of a marriage counselor, it is late in the game and much damage has already been done. What can we do to take the stigma away, and encourage couples to seek help much earlier? I am loathe to admit it, but some of the tv shows now have made it easier for people to seek help without feeling so stigmatized. The counselors on television have demonstrated that there is help for improving communication. The reality is that it takes a tremendous amount of effort on an ongoing basis to truly understand another person. Success in marriage requires a constant investment of such effort, done as patiently as possible.

The Right Stuff by Jodi

Marriage should be able to withstand the sands of time. Can it? That is the million dollar question. When you get married for the first time, you never think about being divorced. Never think about sharing divorce papers with this person. Dividing the kids and the assets, how do you do that? You think you signed up in the good line and won't have any worries. Isn't that a joke? Then, the second marriage comes along, the 2.0 version, are all the bugs out yet? You are ramped up, talk about challenging, it is.

Marriage is full of worries; the mortgage, the cars, the kids, the sex, to name a few. Are marriages even supposed to withstand all of it? Would you rather do it alone? I sure as heck do not wish to be married each day but I am. I signed up for it and with my husband, I am in the trenches, trying to keep it in order. One day, a newly divorced friend said to me that she didn't need anyone in her life. I thought of how many times and ways I need my husband daily. I need someone to talk to, hug, or just hold my hand. I think of all the things we have faced in the past years and I need him just to get by. I need him but more importantly, I want him, I have chosen him to be by my side.

Recently, my husband and I hit a bump in the marriage road. A girlfriend said to me, "What will make you happy?" I really had to think about it. What I was doing at that moment would not give me happiness. I knew to find my true happiness, I had to change it up. We still are angry with each other but we know we want to be together and work on the things that need work, and so we are. I chose him because he is worthwhile to me. I put a value on him and his opinions. Our differences will ebb and flow but I know that whether I share good news or bad news with him, it is him I want to share it with, in the end.

We think differently. We have different hobbies. We like different foods, music and cars. We have a different religion. We have more things different about each other than alike but it works. Do I hate that we behave differently? Yes, but we take those differences and we look for positives and move forward. What else can we do? I love this man and he loves me. At the end of the day, it is his lips I want on mine. At the end of that chosen day, even though I might think he is dumb, I prefer his "dumb ass" be next to me than someone else's.

Marriage is not for the weak hearted. In order to do it well, allowances need to be made. Sometimes we are wrong or can't have our own way. We see that life is a series of temporary results and we can let it ride or choose permanent decisions. This thing called life is in perpetual movement, can you let it move and be alright with it? Only you know the answer to the question. I think it changes based on the day and the events. The person you have chosen to love is flawed but guess what? So are you! The question is, can you overlook those flaws? Are you supposed to be with another person? Will you give on your good days and your bad days? Will you be able to just be? Again, only you can answer these questions. Different things will change and you will have different responses depending on that day, but ultimately, the question that needs to be answered is, "Do you have the right stuff?"

"Cheaper" to Keep Her (or Him)....by Lisa

Jodi wrote about the financial impact of divorce. I’m writing about the emotional impact, which I think can be just as devastating, if not more so. I guess I’ll start with the assumption that one can financially afford to get divorced—let’s say that both parties will have enough money to live comfortably afterwards, in a standard of living similar to what they had before. With that assumption, let’s talk about the emotional impact.

Where to begin? Every marriage, every relationship, has its rough spots. There are things about your spouse, your best friend, your coworkers, and your neighbors, that can drive you nuts at times. Often they’re not big-ticket items, just annoyances, and we all have varying abilities to tolerate these quirks at different times. But sometimes there are bigger issues. I’m talking game-changing, deal-breaking issues. We can all name a few, although no one really knows what goes on between husband and wife, and which issues are the undoing of any one couple. I will venture to say, based on my experience, that the issues and gripes one has with one’s spouse are no more serious than the issues within one’s self—sometimes those are the real deal breakers. We all have our demons, right? I suppose what I’m really saying here is, Don’t Judge, in fact, don’t even try to figure out what happened between two people. Outside appearances may be contradictory to what the real story is.

A friend of mine said it takes 5 years to go through and recover from a divorce. I’d have to say that that is probably pretty accurate. I think it can be less when we’re younger and more resilient, and can adapt to change more easily. Now, though, it’s really tough. The good times can haunt us as much as the bad times. The sense of loss, and the process of grieving, sometimes seem endless and can leave you feeling desperate to escape it. Self-doubt is a frequent companion, and you can find yourself questioning yourself at every turn. Do you have 5 years to grieve, to be depressed, to be sad, and sick, and self-centered? Let’s face it, feeling so bad is all about you! Do you realize how much energy it takes over 5 years to start all over? To find a place to live, replace the possessions you’ve lost, and find new friendships to replace the ones that you lost? Can you salvage, slowly and painfully, your sense of self-worth? One of the biggest surprises for me was (and still is) the reaction of some family members and close friends. Be prepared to be judged, to be questioned, and not to receive the emotional support you expected from those closest to you. If you’ve been married a long time, your marriage was part of everyone else’s sense of stability, and when that is broken, not everyone can or will easily slide into the role of comforter and friend. Some will take sides, and not your side, either. The holidays, birthdays, and Sunday dinners you knew, with family get-togethers, can disappear like this morning’s fog. If your family is all out of town, like mine, that leaves some big gaps. Oh, and did I mention the exhaustion of all this emotional darkness? There’s the terrible dark nights when you can’t sleep, the inability to eat until you are sick, and the inability to concentrate, which can last months. These things add insult to injury—what if they figure out that you can’t concentrate at work? What if you get really sick, who will take care of you? What if you lose your job? Just a few of the many thoughts that come calling when you find yourself without that spouse, the one who drove you nuts. I don’t mean to minimize the reasons why marriages fail. It’s just that there’s a heavy price to pay, even if you can “afford” it. There might be other ways to spend the next 5 years,  that take a lesser toll on your mind, your health, and your pocketbook. 

Cheaper to Keep Her....by Jodi

In this world filled with divorce there is a phrase that rings in my head, "Cheaper to keep her" is a cruel truth. With jobless rates out of the roof and foreclosures running rampant in this world it's a different ballgame. Health insurance costs out of the roof and there is less time and more pressure to actually do things correctly results in a cheaper to keep her mentality.

You know full well that you are never going to be in love with this person ever again, you know that this individual meets none of the things you find interesting, important, let alone fun. The passion is gone from this marriage, it is over. Have you looked at the cost of divorce lately? Just to retain a lawyer costs in excess of $3000! It ain't cheap, it ain't yo' mama's divorce! That is just the cost of retaining an attorney, not filing for the full fledged divorce.

Do you have children? Do you own a home or property? What is worthwhile in fighting for in court? What about the amount of time it takes to duke it out? You also have to figure in the additional cash outlay and any debts you jointly share that require payment. Let's say you have a second marriage, the children are grown and you have determined this relationship is over, he wants to find someone younger, less likely to complain. She wants a peaceful life, rid of his annoyances and dumb hobbies, free to find herself in this part of life.

Should you end this marriage? I understand all of the struggles with making the relationship work, I understand her need for benefits, health benefits aren't cheap. He is used to having her plan the meals, going to the store and doing the laundry but now he will have to find the time in his busy week to do those things himself. She will have to go out and make a livable wage and be offered health coverage.

How can this happen? You are both not at the top of your game anymore, he has a receding hairline and she wears her robe and slippers each night, What? Are they gonna hit the bar and dance every night away? Is it easier to work out your issues? Multiple issues. Issues that arise so frequently they should have their own wing is the house!

No, the marriage is done. We have worked on these issues for years and we have never figured a solution. We have lived with each other, we know what the other likes or doesn't like, we know how she likes her drink in the evening and how he likes to do his crossword. There are parts of this that work.

What if you kept what worked and made peace with all the bull and could be friends? Would you do it? Can it be done? Do we really want to spend this time and money on this divorce? Do you have the time? Will you end up with a big bill at the end? Will your comfort change? Who gets the furniture? Who gets the friendships? Who loses at the end? Everyone loses. There are no winners. It turns out to be a sad day. Who knows what will happen down the road? It leaves a lot of people scarred and scared.

In a perfect world, you live in the house together. You don't have to be totally alone. You have your own room and your own life. Make intelligent decisions as you get older, what works for you and what doesn't?

This is your life, this is your time and I just know being tired and starting over isn't easy any time around the block. Spend more of your life living, breathing and being happy not figuring out how to pay money to attorneys.

I think the phrase, cheaper to keep her is more common the we think. I would like to think it changes lives from doldrums and responsibilities to enjoyment and purpose. I think I would like my life to function that way, instead of anger and disappointment. It seems happier a more loving existence. Going thru a divorce is not easy, but if divorced people could accept pleasing behaviors as being status quo and give up the negatives, we might have a more pleasing way of living in the future. Yep, cheaper to keep her!

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Cool Images....by Lisa

We decided to write about our latest interests, and mine is photography. I have been taking all kinds of pictures with my little point-and-shoot camera that I carry in my purse at all times. You never know when a great photo op is going to present itself (like the time the Taco Bell sign said "Take Home a Penis"). The pictures on my facebook page are almost all taken with a camera phone or my point-and-shoot. I decided it was time for a more sophisticated camera, so I bought my first digital SLR camera--the kind where you can manually focus and determine all the settings, or you can let the camera determine everything. I have had all kinds of cameras in the past--including my dad's old Brownie camera, when I was kid, the kind that has a neck strap and you wear it like a professional camera, but you look into the viewfinder by looking down into the top of the camera. I had the instamatic, the long, rectangular thing where you had to buy the strip of flash bulbs and each one burned out when you took a flash photo--remember those? We probably all burned our fingers handling them too soon after taking the picture. My grandmother would always ask me to adjust the settings on her instamatic before taking family pictures--remember those days? Posing, smiling until you thought your face would freeze like that, wishing they'd take the dang picture already! And how about the Polaroids, the quality wasn't very good but it was fun to watch the picture develop before your eyes. Then there was the the Canon camera I got when Brian was born, where you put the film in and had to manually advance it to the first shot, and use the auto rewind feature to wind it back into the cartridge before opening the camera, or you'd ruin the film by overexposing it to light. My sister gave me the Yashica camera that took panoramic photos on regular film-- those were so cool. I remember taking pictures of the 17 kids Brian went to prom with using that camera--fun times and great memories. Since then it's been a series of point-and-shoots like the Sony digital camera that originally was nearly $400 and too big and heavy for a shirt pocket and now isn't much bigger than a deck of cards. The Olympus Stylus--I liked that one because it had a good zoom lens and the cool way the front cover slid open and closed. My latest point-and-shoot, which I love because it's small and lightweight and has a permanent spot in my purse, and takes great pictures by the way, is a Canon Powershot A3100 IS. It's 12.1 megapixel, which is plenty. One of the many things I've learned as I've started studying photography more seriously, is that increasing megapixel capability isn't the key to great pictures--its using light to your advantage. My DSLR camera is a Nikon D3100, I bought it after consulting with my photography class instructor. It's actually not nearly as heavy as older cameras, even with the 200mm zoom lens, and that's important to me--I just won't carry a heavy camera around. That's why I never was much for taking videos before--the videocamera is too heavy. My new camera records video in 1080p, so I'm all set now, no excuses. I'm taking an advanced digital photography class that starts Monday and I can't wait! I'm looking forward to learning a lot more about how to use my new camera. I also found a great book, available in Kindle format only, entitled "Improve Your Photography: How Budding Photographers Can Get Pro Results", by Jim Harmer. This is a really helpful guide that is easy to understand and helps you learn the fundamentals of your camera. He's also on facebook, look for ImprovePhotography. He posted some really cool photos he took on a recent trip to Yellowstone, using a $12,000 lens he borrowed. I love going places and taking pictures. Maybe I'll hit the Cincinnati Zoo and Botanical Garden on the right weekend in April, when the 90,000 tulip bulbs they planted last fall are in perfect bloom. Last year I got some beautiful pictures there. Now I'm keeping track of the phase of the moon, reading about how to photograph it and end up with something better than a picture of bright yellow spot in a black sky. Happy Shooting!

Repinned! ....by Jodi

Yes, I have a new addiction. It is called, Pinterest. I am in good company with it, I have a bunch of people to follow and who like to follow me. It beats reading magazines for ideas anymore. I don't tear out recipes, ideas, clothes or places to shop anymore. I just pin them. No more magazine clutter! 

I saw on my Facebook that some people had lovely pictures and ideas, I clicked on one and it peaked my interest, it was Pinterest. I started browsing and there were lots of cool ideas. I am going through major changes right now and I can use Pinterest to find out about my likes and dislikes. I sent for an invitation and I was addicted! 

I like the ALL category best because I see a little bit of everything. You choose the areas you want boards in and then you assign the photos and their information to those areas. I have recipes, inspiration to lose weight, fun, style, etc. I have found so many things on Pinterest, I adore it. I mark all sorts of things, from rooms I like, to places I think are beautiful and to how to make a rug! I have cute Valentine ideas and have gotten fabulous ideas for Fun Friday class. I pinned a photo of Beth Moore, she is a dynamo to me. I pinned Bible verses that mean something to my heart, I pinned pictures of convertibles because I adore them. I can cook until the cows come home! Did someone say, "boots?" Oh yes, I found me lots of boots, books, baubles and hair dos galore! I know I am a girl because of various reasons but I am totally loving the endless world of Pinterest!

I really need to begin to invest in a new wardrobe. Pinterest helps me figure out what I like. There are outfit ideas posted with accessories, shoes, purses and jeans. I am in heaven looking at them. There are animal photos, from Rottweiler puppies to a sign with a Weiner dog that says, "It's a good thing you are home, someone pooped in the house." Which is so my story! I can make champagne with popscicles in the glasses for desserts, I can choose funky outdoor fireplaces or hammocks to lay under with twinkling lights above them. I can choose a photo at the beach or in Paris or Greece. They give me motivational words to lose weight, to being a mom, I think I need to go back and pin the thing that says, "My sister has never been the same since that house fell on her." Get it? The HOUSE, The Wizard of Oz!? Yeah, well, I thought it was funny and cute. I know someone else on Pinterest did!

On Pinterest, I can plan the perfect party, bake the perfect cake or make the perfect craft...it shows me I can be PERFECT. I know nothing is perfect and Pinterest is giving that illusion it can exist. You know, sometimes perfection does exist, it's all where your head is. For me, I can escape for a bit and let my mind wander. After all, wouldn't it be nice to drive your convertible down the beach, wearing bedazzled jeans with an old tshirt and wearing sh@t kicking boots and listening to Cyndi Lauper on the IPod? Maybe I can make that into a reality? With Pinterest, I know I CAN! ;)

Where the Rubber Meets the Road, or Following Through on an Intention....by Lisa

So 2102 is a week old now, and those of us who have made intentions (or resolutions) are now asking ourselves “What the heck have I signed myself up for?” I’m chuckling, because I’ve been through this a few times in my 47 years. What was my intention again? Oh yeah, it was to think about my legacy. I’m thinking about it, still need to dig the book that has a chapter on legacies out of a box (didn’t unpack all of my books, figuring I’m on the move again sometime in the next couple years). I had an inspiration today, and I’m looking into whether Puddy Tat would make a good therapy cat. Okay, go ahead and laugh, but yes, cats can be therapy animals. She is used to the dog, she loves to sleep on people’s laps, and she isn’t afraid of anything. And she’s small, only about 6 pounds, so not too heavy for a fragile person’s lap. If I can just get her to come down from the top of the bookcase, we’ll be in business…

On another note, I have a new intention of sorts that is coincidentally happening at the new year. When I saw my sister over the holidays, I was inspired by her diligence in doing the P90X workout series. Being much more of a wimp than my sister, I am now one week into the 10 minute trainer workouts from the same guy, Tony Horton (http://www.beachbody.com/product/p90x-online/shop_programs/10_minute_trainer.do). It’s already helping me feel less achey than I normally do on a daily basis, after I got over the initial soreness. It kicks your butt, but only for 10-15 minutes a day. I like that it’s an organized program, I don’t have to think about what to do on any given day, just follow the calendar they give you and press play on the DVD. It came with the resistance band so I don’t need any other equipment. And there’s enough room in my living room to do it. If you want to work out for more than 10 minutes, you can stack workouts such as cardio, yoga, total body, and do more than 1 per day. I’m still on one per day J.  And I have cut back on how much I’m eating, and you know what? I feel fine. I’m not starving, don’t feel deprived. The biggest change is I’ve stopped snacking after dinner. Adios, muffin top.

Anyway, what’s the key to sticking with a program, be it an intention, a resolution, whatever? Part of it is being ready to do it. I think it helps if you can try your best and not beat yourself up (which discourages you from picking it up again) if you fall off the wagon for a while. At this point in life I realize that many things are temporary, and there is always something new to try. It’s fine to do one thing for a while, and then find something else. I think exercise, expecially for us non-athletes, is about trying different things until you find the one that works for you. I’ve always done well with aerobics, I love to walk, and I hate running and working out at a gym. So exercising at home, for 10-15 minutes a day in addition to walking, is perfect. It’s like any other health habit, you have to find what works for you, and not everything is going to be a perfect fit. Don’t give up! Find a buddy, that helps too. I’ve always enjoyed walking with a buddy, it improves my body and my spirit. Have a healthy 2012!

Ugh, really?....by Jodi

Yes, really. I did it. I went to the gym. It's the beginning of the year and I dressed myself and hauled it out to the gym. I stumbled (literally) climbing on to the treadmill, I had to figure out how to use the crazy thing and away it went. I was going with or without my leg! Heavens yes, I went SLOW, yes, I just went 12 minutes. But, I went and that is what matters. I (again, literally) stumbled off the treadmill, with my iPod, jacket, lip balm, sunglasses and required towel in hand. I broke wind (no, not farting) and dragged myself over to the drinking fountain to drink. I forgot my water, of course. At the drinking fountain there was a guy washing his hands in the fountain! Really? Yes, I lost my appetite. Forgot the water, used some antibacterial gel and sat down in the waiting area for Dan to finish up.

I sat and thought I should have done better. Then, reality struck in, I went and did! I am proud of myself for just completing the process! I only went for about 12 minutes at a quarter of a mile, at hold on to your hat, a speed of 1.5! Hey, it's a place to start! If I can do that in a week, than next week I can up it. I could have gone until I was exhausted but then I would be done for the day. Sad, but true. I want to shower and go to the store and enjoy the beautiful weather. I did what I could do and I will get better! Are there older people who can do better? Yes. But how many of them have had weight loss surgery and a stroke? Yeah, there will always be the stronger, faster people out there and I need to be alright with that. I am getting there, my family makes me feel like I should go better, do more, be the best, but reality says I just need to figure out what works for me. It is an all new me and I am figuring it out as I go along!

As I sat in the chair, I checked out the people and their clothes, of course. I came to the conclusion that no one who joins the gym in this neighborhood is poor. They all have really nice shoes! The cheapest shoes I saw were Sketchers. I know it isn't about having a name brand but I am just sayin'! I thought I would head to the Nike Woman store and have some Nikes made with pink and black, very lightweight. Sounds fun, eh?

I know I need a bag to haul all my stuff in. I knew which one I would make my gym bag for now. I saw socks, they weren't very festive but I know how important good socks are! I am not being sarcastic, good socks are truly important. I think that is where I will begin. I also looked at hairdos, of course! My hair is thinning from surgery (normal) it is awkward to pull it up for me without the full use of my left arm so I need a hat. Baseball caps are not for me because I still have to ponytail it. I want one of those winter hats with a sock monkey design. Yes, I know it's weird but I think it will work and so you know what I will be looking to buy! Oh, I checked out the guys too, hehehe. They looked clean and some were definitely cool and some definitely were trying to be cool. We had the old men and the high school boys, ultimately, this short, chubby, bald guy with sweat pouring off of him rounded the corner, THAT was my guy! He loves me and even better, I love him and we are adding another chapter to our book of us. I know...ugh...really? You betcha'!  

New Year’s Intentions (new twist on New Year’s Resolutions)...by Lisa

A few years ago, I stopped making several resolutions for the new year, and instead I began making just one resolution each year. I wish I could remember what each of those resolutions was, and whether I successfully fulfilled it, but I can’t remember, except the year I decided to get in the habit of flossing my teeth. I still floss just about every day. I know, it sounds mundane, but try it, you might like it if you get in the habit. Heck, even the cat likes to floss with the other end of the strand (okay, I know, its gross, but she loves mint floss). During the last couple of years, at times when I was really low, I knew I would be okay if I could just keep flossing—and I was! Fine, go ahead and laugh. Last year, Jodi let me in on what she does as a new year’s tradition:  she makes an intention, instead of a resolution. I really like the concept. First, I like the idea of having an idea and an intention and not having the need to beat yourself up if you don’t keep up with it. Why add negativity? We don’t need any more of that. I like the idea of having flexibility to change the intention or change direction, because we know that the winds of change are constantly blowing. A year can be a long time to try to keep a resolution. I’ve been thinking lately about my legacy and what that will be. According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, a legacy can be a bequest of money or personal property, or something received from an ancestor or predecessor. My philosophy, shaped in part by the legacy of volunteering and serving others left by my grandparents, Adeline and Jim, is that a meaningful legacy for me is one that involves an investment of my time and talents, not just writing checks. It’s not so much an inheritance of money and possessions, but an example of serving, for others to follow after I am gone. So for 2012, my intention is to check out the volunteer opportunities in my area, and see what matches my skills and interests, and try a few out in hopes of finding one that I can invest my time in on a regular basis.  I’ll keep you posted this year on how it goes. And if you have any suggestions, please feel free to comment. I’m keeping an open mind as I look for my niche. Happy New Year, and good luck if you make a new year’s intention!

Intentions.... by Jodi

Ready? Set. GO!

This will be one of those big years for me. I know it because I specifically did some things to change my life. Others can see the changes, so they know I am not just whistling Dixie! I am excited to see how things turn out this year!

I worked on my list of intentions throughout the month of December. I will continue to work on it in January and actually I will continue it through out the year. Last year I went crazy and totally went off my list but it was a very good move. My husband did the same thing, we had gastric sleeve surgery. It has changed our lives in countless ways and we are very glad we did it. Yesterday more of my clothes and practically all of my shoes left this house with a friend. I had 5 sizes in my closet but now I am almost at size 14, the last one. The width of my feet has even changed. It was really hard to see those things leave but I know I am moving on to better things!

My list of intentions got divided into three areas; mind, body and spirit. I wrote everything down that I wanted to pay attention to throughout the year. Some will get more attention than others. I will share a few to give you an idea.

For my mind, I signed up to teach my Fun Friday classes again. I signed up for 10 weeks starting in the winter. I thought I would stop them but I really like doing them and I enjoy serving others who just wanna have fun!

For my body, I am going to physical therapy for my arm. I need it, it hurts but I am going and that is what counts for me. I joined the gym and intend to walk, very slowly, on the treadmill. I don't care how fast I go, I just need to move.

For my spirit, I want to get closer to my God and be comfortable and spiritual again. I have been going to Bible study each week. I am going to ask a women there to be my mentor. She is married for a very long time, has a huge family, was a nurse and knows the word of God. I like her and want her to influence my life.

Just for giggles, I want to go zip lining! We can go right on Catalina Island now. I am going! I want Lisa to go with me, I think it is only appropriate don't you? A couple of my other friends now want to go so that might be one of those things that will happen this year? Woooohooo!

There are other things on my list but I shared just a few to give you an idea. I also am going to do The 30 Day Photo Gratitude Challenge for January because I think it will be a tool to get to know myself better. I will also continue my Gratitude List because it totally makes me stop and appreciate the things I have in my life. I am fond of a new social network called, Pinterest. I intend to use it to also figure out the NEW me. It's got a slew of recipes, craft ideas, clothes and more. Lisa and I are also going to be accountability partners, a new thing for us. I think it will be a good thing. We are READY, good and bad, BRING IT! Happy New Year!