The Perfect Gift....by Lisa

It’s Holiday time again, and many of us are searching for the perfect gift. I’ll let you in on a little secret of mine—I’m only looking for the perfect gift for myself. My gift giving is mostly limited to my family members near and far, and is really just exchanging money. It’s nice and I don’t want to stop it, I like the gesture. But the truth is, this year I’m delighting in the gifts I’m giving myself. There are the material gifts, like the zoom lens for my DSLR camera, the books I want, clothes, and whatever else (no, not an iPad, tempting as it may be). But most important is the most hard-won gift, that of inner quiet. I’ve struggled a lot the last 3 years, with the divorce and associated bad feelings, negative self-talk, and the monumental sense of loss. I’ve really turned a corner with all of that, and finally feel that I am moving on.  It’s a great relief. So my hope for all of you is that you too can find some inner peace and quiet. It’s time to make peace with who we are, what we have and haven’t done, and to realize that we are works in progress, and that the greatest growth we experience comes from difficulty and failure, not from “success”(whatever that is, and however you define it). I’m taking time to give thanks for this life, for the simple joys, and for the difficulties, because they have taught me so much and have helped me to grow in ways I never would have without them. 

The Perfect Gift....by Jodi

Don't we all? I want a lot of things. Secret is, pretty much anything I want, I buy.

I really don't want all that much. It's amazing what you don't want when you don't read a lot or go out into the world daily.

Oh sure, there are things I want but I truly don't NEED very much, if at all? Yes, I need the everyday things. Housing, utilities, gas, food...some extras, like having my hair cut and colored, my face threaded (ugh), the once in awhile manicure and pedicure.

My Daniel takes excellent care of me! He is not a fool, his Mother raised him to pay for things such as carpet cleaning, cleaning the house, washing the animals, having a gardner. I wish she were around to thank for teaching him that. I have a lot of trouble doing those things, I am very grateful for the ability to have them done.

It's holiday time and we need to buy gifts for one another. I like to buy gifts throughout the year. I hate to be told it is time to buy gifts. I really don't get into shopping. I would rather be surprised throughout the year. I am weird about gifting. The people who matter to me know that. If you don't know it, I am weird about gifting. I am generous but only give gifts when the mood strikes me. I love to share gifts, getting someone a thing they have wanted or a surprise. Buying a meal or a cup of coffee is a small thing that brings me great joy as well. I just don't feel the need to buy gifts at certain times. I would just rather see something cool and buy it. I really don't operate that way anymore, I have to figure out how I operate!

Lisa wants the perfect gift for her. My gift to her would be getting her weight where she wants it. Rewarding relationships that cooperate with her, the majority of time and I think she needs a fabulous pashmina and I really good coffee table book. My gift to Travis would be his computer, signed, sealed and delivered. New shoes and a new bunch of clothes and a razor (for his face)! My gift for Daniel, a whole new wardrobe of everything and new shoes, he is gonna get that over the next year. We also need a vacation, to lounge by the pool, go out for dinner and just hang out. I would buy my Mom $20 worth of lotto tickets. For the rest who are near and dear to me, a party. Great food, fabulous dancing and conversation and just a really good time, sounds like it is on the list! World peace wouldn't be bad either!

Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda,...by Jodi

I could start a list of all 3 of those things at any time...

Things I coulda done...been a college graduate, backpacked in Europe or taken that job instead of staying home. Why didn't I? I thought traveling around America was more fun!  I was right. I have tried to go back to school a few times, always got straight A's but always thought it was so dull to me. Will prolly always have mixed feelings about that. I put my bets on someone else more than I put them on myself...mistake!  I like to romanticize the job factor but the reality is it just sounds like it would have been smart, I wouldn't change spending time with my son in a million years. I would like to give back some the those hours I spent cleaning the bathroom!

Things I woulda done...stayed in Chicagoland, cooked at home more often and stayed being a radio geek. I woulda stayed in Chicago. I adore that city, the food, the museums, the shopping. Think of all the excitement I would have missed? I woulda cooked at home and bonded over brunches and bbq's. I used to cook at home and feed people dinner or baked cookies for them a million times. It lost the allure for me. I realized I could spend my time doing other things. I was a really good cook at one time, now I just don't have the interest that I once did. Maybe it will return one day? I would have kept my career in the radio world but I liked having a family more. It's not like I couldn't have one or the other but I chose to invest in the other one. I have lived a full life and accomplished many things I would have not experienced if I would have chosen other path. Will I think about that one? You bet I will.

I shoulda trusted my intuition, dieted and exercised more and gone zip lining! I shoulda trusted my small, still voice instead of my head or heart. I am smarter than I give myself credit for. I followed things other people expected me to do. I don't do that much anymore and really don't regret it. I shoulda dieted and exercised more by just simply doing so. I don't know about dieting really and I did like working out. I have always been a larger than normal adult. It hasn't really hindered my life but is has hindered my health. I tell people I adore food, my extra weight was rich, real cream ice cream and steaks not Burger King meals. Would I change any of it? Nope, don't think so. Maybe some subtle nuances but that is about it. Just reiterates the fact that, "everything happens for a reason." I should go zip lining! It is something I have never done but is something I will do before I go out of this world! I think it looks like fun and I just want to do it! I will, dammit!

I am sure there are many things I woulda, coulda or shoulda done but this is me now and I am very glad to be ME...the good, the bad and the ugly.

Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda,...by Lisa

Oh, where to begin? Coulda—could I have gone to medical school? I’ve thought about it, sometimes seriously. I wish I had had the seriousness of vision to consider it, plan for it, and try to do it when I was first going off to college, when I was young. Pharmacy has certainly been a great choice for me and has given me a comfortable lifestyle and a lot of flexibility. But I will always wonder if I couldn’t have done something greater….

And on that note, why do people laugh when I say that I wanted to go to art school after high school, but my dad said I wouldn’t be able to support myself on a career in art, so I went to pharmacy school instead. Is that funny? Seriously, art is a fun hobby, and I wish I had more time for it. I still think I’d like to be an art teacher. Maybe someday.  That said, I’ve always told myself that putting things off until Someday is a recipe for never doing them. There’s no time like the present. Time waits for no man. Never put off until tomorrow the things you can do today. Life is uncertain, eat dessert first. You know what I mean.

I noticed a pattern here. The things I coulda done, shoulda done, could still do, are things I didn’t do. I’ve always appreciated the quote, maybe it was by Mae West, who said something about not regretting the things one has done, but rather the things one didn’t do. I was going to go hot air ballooning a few months ago, but I seem to have chickened out. It’s still on my list though, and I’ll let you know if I go.

Menopause, a Musical?....by Lisa

Menopause, a musical?

It seems that this summer I’ve gained a few pounds, in spite of the fact that I exercise regularly. My diet is pretty healthy too—I am the person who looks and junk food and says “That shit will kill you.” I even gave my cinnamon pop tarts away recently. When I saw my mom last weekend, and complained about the new poofier appearance of my belly, she said, “it’s your menopause,” as if anyone would know that. Let me tell you, Denial is not just a river in Egypt. I have gotten very good at being in denial. So I got a book on my Kindle called Menopause Sucks, and I cried while reading it. Hey, at least I can laugh now (that was just last weekend).  There is even a Menopause for Dummies book. I am 47 and certainly am encountering symptoms of The Change. I haven’t had a bona fide hot flash yet, but I have only a sheet on my bed, no blankets or bedspreads, and I wear sleeveless tops to work every day. I only wear a sweater at the movie theater or a really chilly restaurant. This is the first year I have used a fan at my desk at work. And I was one of those women who was always too cold—those days are long gone. I only cry when I’m very angry or sad, but now that I’m on hiatus from the man in my life, I expect to cry less, and I’m happy about that. One of my menopause management strategies is to not keep oyster crackers in the house, or any cracker like that, because if they are here, I will eat them in mass quantities. I’ve always loved carbs. I used to say that I would name my baby “Tater” because of my love of potatoes. I’m pleased to report that her name is Kate. So I keep exercising and I try to watch what I eat.

The average age of menopause is 51. Menopause is defined as not having had a period for 12 months. Women who smoke can expect to complete menopause 2-3 years earlier (hey, there’s an idea). We all know there’s been a lot of press about hormone replacement therapy and whether it causes cancer. For me, I know that if I get to the point where the hot flashes or joint pain or other symptoms are too disruptive to my life, I will probably take it for a while. Shocking, right, since I hate to take drugs? Those of you who know me well are probably laughing and shaking your heads. I’m trying to do better about taking medicine when I need it. We all have our hang-ups, you know?

Menopause?....by Jodi

As much as I hate to admit it, I think menopause is alive and well in my life. I haven't really found out much about it. I am from the school that I will find out about it when I need to. I know symptoms can last up to 6 years, that scares me. I know I will lose interest in sex, I will gain weight and my periods will be sort of weird. Along with a host of other symptoms, I am sure. I take Wellbutrin and it is supposed to be a drug used to treat the symptoms of menopause. I recently had a medical procedure done and went off my Wellbutrin for a few days, it does help me with symptoms from my stroke so I am not going off it anytime soon. I don't know if it helps me with symptoms of menopause because it is also supposed to be used as an aid to losing weight and it never helped me with that!

What can I really say about my experience with menopause? I have a birthday next week so I will be a 47 year old woman. Many women my age are in full swing with menopause symptoms. Right now, I do get very hot sometimes, hot flashes seem to come at the most inopportune moments. I am more chilly than warm. I keep a blankie by me and I keep gloves in my purse because sometimes my right hand is just freezing. I also believe those are symptoms from my stroke. My feet get very cold so I always try to have slippers or socks on my feet. I think I have more side effects from my stroke than menopause at this point.

I tend to get moody but I don't think I am anymore moody then I usually am. My stroke left me with lots of feelings of moodiness. I know the Wellbutrin helps me with that. I laugh or cry at dumb things where I shouldn't be so emotional. It kind of ticks me off sometime because I so don't think it warrants crying but I do. I especially get angry at myself when I am trying to get my point across and tears come. I am more emotional and all weepy and I so don't intend to be but it happens. Is it menopause or is it my stroke? It really doesn't matter, it is not what it used to be!

I am more forgetful lately, again, I thought it was due to my stroke but it could also be a tinge of menopause. I had a stroke which effected my left side of the base of my brain. It is a brain injury so I know that I have had to take time to heal. I also know that forgetfulness and memory problems are a symptom of menopause as well. Again, I really don't know which it is but it is another thing that isn't what it used to be.

Basically, I will be a woman closer to being 50 than not. I have had a lot of different things happen in my life. I am a woman, a daughter, a wife, a mother and a host of other things. I am where I am supposed to be in my life, I haven't always been thrilled of the choices God has made for me but I see reasons behind things happening to me. I wouldn't change a thing, everything has created the me I was meant to be. I am in love with my husband and my son, my dogs, my family and I have wonderful friends. My life has challenges and whether they are due to my stroke or the beginning signs of menopause, I can embrace the differences and keep on moving toward the future. I like my life again, I am starting to like myself again and I am excited about the future. "Sock it to me, menopause!"

Car Shopping Part I....by Lisa

Jo and I have been on hiatus. It’s been a busy summer, as we knew it would be, and time flies like the roll of toilet paper.

So, it’s time to shop for a car. Cue dreary music. There’s so much trepidation in this type of shopping, I think because of the cost of the item, and worse, the negative feelings toward car salesmen. And of course, the fear, or is it certainty, that one will pay more than a fair price when the deal is done. I think I’ve captured it!

So I went to CarMax a few Saturdays ago, because I’m not too keen on any kind of shopping, and I thought it would be most efficient to go to where I could drive a number of different cars in one stop. The salesman was a very nice young man, and I drove the Nissan Murano, the Toyota Rav4, and the Honda CRV. I wanted to drive the Ford Escape, and there was one on the lot, but by the time we got to it, it was sold. I liked all 3 cars, although two had black interiors, and I definitely don’t want that. And all 3 were a little above the price I was hoping for—and CarMax doesn’t negotiate.

Fast forward to last weekend. First I went to Lexus, and really liked a used Acura RDX I drove there. Zoom zoom zoom went the turbo—the car was really quick and fun to drive, but alas, it had 94,000 miles on it and for the price, I don’t think so. Then I went to the local Ford dealership and drove the Escape. I really like the outside but I didn’t like the inside, which is where I spend at least an hour a day, most days more. Did I mention that I’m ruined by years of driving a luxury car? When I drove my current car off the lot in 2004, I knew instantly that the next car would be a difficult choice—is there any going back?

So last Friday, I went to Toyota, since I decided I really don’t care for the look of the CRV. Notice the theme here—too bad looks are so important. Can I blame that on our culture? I really like the Rav4. Strange deal though—only the top model comes with factory leather, otherwise they send the car out for an aftermarket job (which is lifetime guaranteed and really nice). This particular small SUV is similar to what I currently have and I think I will be very happy with it. I’m hesitant to go back to a sedan since the accident last winter, when I was hit hard on the driver’s door by a larger SUV. No injuries but my car needed a new driver’s side to the tune of $5200.

Next task is to ask for quotes from the local dealerships, in hopes of getting a really good deal. Stay tuned for the rest of the story…

Vroom Vroom....by Jodi

Vroom...Vroom...

Lisa is looking to buy a car because her daughter is going to start driving soon, I am thinking about buying a new car because my intention is to give mine to my son when he graduates from high school next year. Lisa is going to buy something totally different than I am because she is a different person in a whole different place than me! 

I have been wanting a convertible. I have a thing for convertibles. I try to always rent one when I rent a car, they make driving more fun, it's like a vacation for me. I drive around in it and people smile and chat with you. Men flirt at the gas station and on the road too. When you drive a convertible, it puts you in a carefree state of mind. In California, we get to really use the car with the top down. Most days and evenings warrant going topless.

I have just been thinking about cars but haven't gone to look or drive any of them. I do admire convertibles as I drive past them. I also see people driving with their tops up on our beautiful, sun shined days and wonder what is wrong with them? I adore the free wheeling feeling I get from them, the fresh air, just wrapping my arms around having a great time. It doesn't take much to please me, does it? Before I buy, I need to convince my Dan this is the way for us to go. He is very set in his ways and kind of stodgy when compared to me. I think we need a car that says, "fun for the weekend!" I, of course, want to have fun driving no matter what, but that's just me! I have always said I wanted a convertible, so this is nothing new to him. I know the dangers and I want one anyway, it's just how I am. I don't know if I would buy a used one or new one. I like new because everything is new and it's mine to do with as I wish. Used would be fine, I like the price, I  don't mind used because I really wouldn't plan to take my car out of the state really. We usually take Dan's car on big road trips. I am open to check it all out and find the best thing to serve us.

So, I like a few cars, they stopped making my dream car which would have been a Toyota Solara convertible. I think those were beautiful automobiles. I would be lucky to find a good deal. I like Mini-Coopers and the Volkswagen Bug, there is a new Bug on the street but I really like the old ones too. I would love a Mustang convertible but it might be too much car for me and I could wind up with a lot of speeding tickets. That wouldn't be good since I seem to swing one every year and I have a Toyota Corolla at this point. I managed to get a ticket in it in the desert going 96mph in that so I just don't know about that Mustang? Although, I did have a bright, red, beautiful convertible for almost 3 weeks and stayed out of the way of the police. I used to adore Sebring convertibles but not so much anymore. There are lots of Mercedes convertibles out there, I could buy a used one but I am just not a Mercedes girl. It seems pretentious, even though it is a good car. Don't think I can even entertain the price of an Audi convertible so I won't. I have considered a Smart Car but I fear I could be smarter than my car? I would totally get off on having an old El Dorado Cadillac convertible or an old Buick, Pontiac or Oldsmobile but I fear the upkeep on it would be too much to keep up with. There are so many choices and I haven't even mentioned them. When the time comes, I will sit down with Dan and we will figure out the best thing at the time. I always tell Dan when things cost more money than we have, this might be the last one I buy, honey! He looks at me like I am crazy but I think it rings a bell with him. I have not really driven a car for more than 5 years, I intend to drive my next car for at least 10 years. Bottom line, it is just a mode of transportation. But, I want a convertible. Vroom, vroom!

Father's Day....by Lisa

Many of us have mixed feelings about one or both parents, and for some reason that seems to resonate more with me on Father’s Day. I’m the oldest child, and that gave me the privilege of having time alone with my parents when I was little. This turned out to be especially valuable even after my sister was born, because I still got time alone with my dad while he entertained me and mom was home with the baby. I was a real daddy’s girl—my dad could do no wrong. My mom later said, “You always doted on him.” I think she said it in an eye-rolling kind of way. In those days my dad took me to the demolition derby, fishing in the creek, and walking in the hills behind our house. He scolded me when I intentionally stepped on a ladybug. We often went from our home in Pennsylvania to visit his parents in upstate New York, which I loved. We would go fishing in the creek or try to catch the big catfish that lived under the bridge on their gravel road. Seems like we have always spent a lot of time together in the car. After my parents divorce, my mom moved us 150 miles away to the shelter of her parents, so we had to go back and forth to see dad. One summer he took us on us on a month-long camping trip out west, it was one of the trips of a lifetime. He bought a trailer (not a pop-up but a real hard-sided camper) with shower and kitchen, and we drove all the way to the west coast and back. It was a trip filled with lots of driving (and I was only 14 so couldn’t help), and photography. Know what happens when you take 2 kids on vacation and give them each a camera? You get lots and lots of pictures of all the same things. I still have those pictures and the trip was 1978. The colors have faded a lot, but the memories I hope to always have. We fed peanuts to birds in the Rocky Mountains, where there was snow on the ground and we were wearing shorts. My sister toured the grand canyon on horseback. The heat didn’t work in the camper so we warmed our feet on cold mountain mornings by turning on the oven and resting our feet on the open oven door (don’t try this at home). My dad grew a beard (mostly reddish with some gray), and I guess we went to Laundromats but I don’t really remember that part.

Once when I was maybe 5 years old, I almost drowned. We were visiting my mom’s family near Lake Michigan, and my dad and I had ended up at a public beach. We hadn’t brought swim gear but he let me splash in the surf a little since it was hot. I kept going farther and farther out, and I didn’t know how to swim, and soon the waves picked me up and I couldn’t touch bottom. I could see boats farther out, but couldn’t turn around to try to flag my dad down for help. I was swallowing water and thought I would be carried away. My dad suddenly came charging into the water and pulled me out, realizing I couldn’t help myself. I could and spit and sputtered until I could catch my breath on the sand.

My dad built me a dresser and bed frame out of wood, and it’s really beautiful. He also made me a jewelry box—he’s very handy and could probably build a house from the ground up with his bare hands and some tools. He fixed up a ’67 camaro for me when I was in high school, which made me the envy of many of the boys. I do get mesmerized whenever I see a muscle car, new or old, in traffic, probably thanks to my dad. He taught me how to catch nightcrawlers during a rainstorm, how to check the oil and tire pressure and trans fluid levels on a car, and how to tie my shoes. And he practiced counting change with me a lot. It’s because of him that I love nature and the outdoors, and anything made of wood, and things made of glass (he’s a ceramic engineer).

As an engineer, my dad worked mostly in factories in small towns. Factories that were noisy, hot, cold, and probably not the cleanest. As a manager, he at times had to cross picket lines of angry workers in order to do their jobs to try to keep the business afloat. He helped me a lot financially to get through college, which was very important to him and to me because I had a child long before I finished college. One day as I drove to work, I came around the bend and saw the big, beautifully landscaped complex, and I was struck by how his work in those noisy, hot, cold, and dangerous factories, and his provision for me, gave me the tools to work in a place that is clean, safe, and beautiful, where I make more money than he would have ever imagined. I was in my 30’s, and I called him that day to thank him and to let him know that his desire for his daughter to have something better had indeed been fulfilled. I wanted him to know I appreciated it and had been a good steward of what he too had worked for.

My dad is in his 70s now, and is pretty healthy except for that little bit of prostate cancer. In my mind and in my heart though, he is still a lanky 30 year old with dark hair, running across the back yard playing kickball, 2 against 1, with me and my sister. 

The Animal Shelter....by Lisa

I discovered a new form of inexpensive entertainment—going to the animal shelter. There’s one not far from where I live, a really nice one that doesn’t smell bad, that is clean and bustling with busy volunteers—you know, the people wearing sweaty t-shirts and shorts, with sweaty brows and chapped hands, who do so much for so little recognition. They are the ones who stop mopping long enough to tell you that Tiger is a really good dog, sweet with people, good with other dogs, and would make a great pet. The ones who spend hot summer days walking a series of dogs, both hoping that a forever home will be found before time runs out. And time does run out for some, because space is limited and the influx of pets needing new homes never really goes out, they just keep coming in, seeking shelter, solace, and another chance. There’s Dweezel, the foxhound/pit bull mix, with the white body and brown head, who doesn’t bark or jump when you talk to him. Then there’s Cuddles, with her big ears, who drinks and drinks and drinks and then has to pee and pee and pee, so she needs a special family that will limit her water so she can have a better quality of life. And there’s Ella, the pretty and docile Rottweiler. Where I live, there are a few breeds that aren’t allowed—breeds that are frequently seen in the shelter. The usual list of supposed hooligans: German Shepherds, Chows, Pit Bulls, Rottweilers, and Doberman Pincers. Sadly, for the most part, these breeds can make good family pets. And when they are mixed breeds, say Shepherd and Lab, they are great—loyal, loving, friendly, smart. Some weeks there are many young pit bulls. They sit and look at you with their wrinkled foreheads, their quiet seriousness beckoning you to love them. The next weekend they are gone—I’m not sure if they found homes. Did I tell you they have cats? Tiny crying kittens by the litter, grey tabbies, orange tabbies, white cats, black and white cats, long haired and short haired cats. Some days, many of the cats have freshly shaved bellies with brand new scars, so that they can’t create more needy kittens. Visitors and volunteers make them purr with contentment. Won’t you take just one home? Actually, two would be a big help, and they will keep each other company. I like Jenny, she’s 8 months old and has a new scar on her belly. She has short hair and big green eyes, and she loves to be held. Maybe Gabby could get used to having a cat around. Well, if you can’t take a pet home, can you at least leave a few dollars behind to help with their food and vet bills? Here’s a link to Petfinder, in case you need to open that little empty space in your heart and home where love expands to include one more creature.  http://www.petfinder.com/index.html

No Wahooman....by Jodi

I remember when we had just one shih tzu and we decided a girl might be the next one. We loaded up the car and went to Westminister to look. There was an asian woman with a dish towel over the dogs face while she brushed him. If that wasn't scary enough there was a big boy staring at us and told my 6th grade son, he liked his titties! He handed me this tiny 6 week old black and white puppy that was supposed to be a shih tzu puppy. I whispered to Dan and Travis this was not a shih tzu puppy! Needless to say, we left. They were scary people and we didn't want scary dogs!

One day Dan said there was a girl shih tzu who needed a home on Craig's List. She was 7 months old and the people would bring the dog to our house, she could stay the weekend. We all were home and they brought her over, she ran through the house, she was beautiful. Wrigley ignored her at first, then he jumped up on to the bed and started barking at her. It was so funny, after he barked at her they were friends forever. She didn't sleep with that Mommy but has slept in our bed with us since day 1. She came named Sidney and that is how we got her. She was free on Craig's List, what a bargain!

We had Wrigley and Sidney for awhile and they happily lived with us. They played dinosaur, barking and growling together. I kept telling Dan we needed another one. I survived my stroke the year before and I could be home with him. One day I was teaching class and he sent me a picture of a shih tzu puppy! He asked me to look at him on Saturday morning, we went, he was cute but too big and appeared to be attached to the boy. We got in the car and he showed me a picture of more adorable shih tzu puppies. I agreed we needed to look at them. We went to Rolling Hills and there were 2 males. The one was brown, black and white. He was tiny, a bird could have carried him away! He weighed 1.8 pounds and we bought him. We named him Boone and we loved him. Wrigley and Boone get along famously but Boone and Sidney are still getting acquainted. Slowly buy surely, they make daily contact. Wrigley is laid back and likes his belly and ears rubbed, he loves the spa, he adores his mama! Sidney is Dan's dog, she sticks out her little pink tongue and Dan rubs her back. Boone is like a bunny, he darts around, he loves to play outdoors and he does this adorable little thing with his paws so that looks like he is praying!

I can't believe we have 3 shih tzus! I tell Dan that it isn't a farm unless we have 5 or more...LOL. We love the ones we're with types, we all cuddle with them all. They get their tummies rubbed, they get their cookies and they shred up all the tissues they can shred! We love our shih tzus! They are cuddly and very lovable! Everyone has his own personality! We love our doggies.

No Wahooman, you may not have Boonie! ;)  

A Fresh Start....by Jodi

The last time I moved was 5 years ago, from Long Beach to La Palma in California. We moved from Los Angeles County to Orange County. In that time a lot of things have happened...I married Dan, Travis went from elementary school to high school, we have 3 shih tzus, I changed jobs and I had a little thing called a stroke, yeah, a few things have changed! More good things than bad things but changes without a doubt.

We now live in the OC, ya' know, the Orange County Housewives, I resemble them in no way, shape or form. My friends have been known to call me Jo, here and there, that's all. I never thought I would but I do enjoy living here. It's very quiet, the people are very friendly and they have everything you need in the OC. When I lived in Long Beach, I thought it was the be all, end all, but it's not. I love the LBC but I seldom go there, it's easier to get around here and it is more wide open and less crowded. The LBC has even more things there but the OC is a simpler and less hectic way to live.

I grew up in Merrillville, Indiana. It's just about 50 miles south of downtown Chicago. I tell people, it was a great place to grow up, it was at that. We had snow, Friday night football games, the "big city" and a cool mall. I have "gone back" to that area to live, twice, as an adult. Needless to say, it didn't work. I stayed about a year, both times and then had to leave, to keep my sanity. I am a California girl, as difficult as it is to admit!

For the first time, I left when I was 19, came to California for vacation and cashed in my round trip ticket within 3 days. I tell people that I followed a boy here, which I did. I followed my high school sweetheart, we went on to live in New Orleans and Chicago and now I have lived in California longer than I lived anywhere else. It's where I grew up, had my child, went to school, got divorced and re-married here. I gave birth to a native and I married a native, both rarities in southern California. I think about living other places, for some reason Tennessee beckons me there and I think about moving "home" again, but I know my "boys" love this state and won't ever leave. Why should they? It's got beautiful weather almost everyday, you can surf and ski in the same day (I do neither) and we are very progressive in our thinking and way of life. It is close to perfection for most, those who don't like it, haven't really seen the real side of it. Maybe they might be a little jealous? Who really knows? But, why leave? The earthquakes, the cost of living, the government and the way of life can really be too much sometimes. Look at the OC housewives and their lives, look at Hollywood or the traffic.

Everything I want or need can be found pretty close to me. We are between Los Angeles and San Diego, we hurt for nothing. Shopping, education, medical, government, it's all here. In Chicago, I long for the tall buildings, great museums and the lakefront and in the French Quarter of New Orleans I miss the uptown trolley, Cafe Du Monde and the jazz. Everyplace has its something, I miss people, places and things each day but when I'm away from California, I miss things too, it's a vicious circle.

I have rented a moving truck a few times, I used to joke that my sofa lived more places than most Americans. I used to think about driving a semi-truck, Californians will understand when I tell them I have thought about calling Debbie Dootson more than once. I've rented a storage container here and there, once for over a year. I have borrowed and paid for plenty of moving boxes and bought my fair share of newsprint to wrap things in. I probably could have bought a newspaper business by now.

It's a pain to move but it can always be erased. Enjoy the fresh start, Wahooman!

Moving…Along, Up, Forward....by Lisa

I’m moving soon, so I’ve got moving on the brain. I’m moving to a bigger space, and I’m really looking forward to it. Almost 2 years in 1000 sq feet has been pretty cramped and I can’t get my crafts out and leave them out; I’ve missed that. Can’t wait for the holidays so I can use those cookie molds to make some paper molds instead—fewer calories, less filling!  My place is currently an obstacle course of furniture that’s too big and boxes that are too numerous to count. I can’t wait for the view of the lake, and the sound of the fountain at night.

I’ve lived in this area for 27 years, having moved to Cincinnati right before my son was born. I was born in Pennsylvania, then lived in different parts of Indiana before going to Purdue, then moved to Cincinnati, and I’ve been here ever since. I feel like a native, know how the natives talk, but sometimes I am outed by someone from “The Region” who knows the dialect. I’ve lived near UC, in a 3^rd floor apartment full of old-world charm (translation: total dive) in a neighborhood full of diversity, and I’ve lived in a nice house in the mostly-white and boring suburbs. It’s nice here, a nice place to raise a family. My children were both born here, at the same hospital, 11 years apart.

Moving makes me think of fond memories of places I’ve lived before. Like the years in Pennsylvania when I was little, and we had a live Christmas tree, and the cat climbed the tree! That was hilarious, although I’m sure my parents didn’t think so at the time. At that house was the sandbox my dad built for me, and sometimes in the summer, when my younger sister had to go to bed earlier than me, I was allowed to put WATER in the sandbox. That was living! My dad would hold me up so I could see into the bird nest in the blue spruce tree he had planted in the yard. And I would take pictures with his old Brownie camera—I still have those pictures, maybe the album would be called “Fast times on Elizabeth Road,” lol. When we lived in Bluffton, we would walk “uptown” in the summer, and buy candy at the dime store. Is there such a thing as a dime store anymore? We learned to bait our own fishhooks with live worms, and catch nightcrawlers during a late night rainstorm. Have you ever done that? It’s pouring down rain, and you’re trying to hold an umbrella and a flashlight and grab the nightcrawler before he goes back down into the ground, and you have to squeeze him until he gives up the fight so you can pull him out and put him in your bucket. There was the spring when the window wells were filled with toads of all sizes, and the time the cat brought home a live baby rabbit. I remember my great-grandmother feeding a baby rabbit with a dropper at my grandparents home in upstate New York. We caught tadpoles from the creek in an empty pop can and put them in my aquarium, and let them go in the river when they became frogs. I sound like an outdoor girl, huh? I am at heart, I love the animals and plants, and creeks and rivers and oceans, and mountains and clouds and sky.  

So I’m moving again, moving my stuff around one more time, for a little more breathing room. In the meantime, I think I’ll go walk around the lake.

Soft Shell Crabs, or Things Aren’t Always What You Hope....by Lisa

Ever feel duped? Or buy or get something, expecting one thing, only to find that it is not at all what you expected? I recently went to dinner with a friend, and she ordered the soft shell crab entree. Soft shell crabs are blue crabs that are harvested just before they molt, and are eaten as soon as the shell is molted, while the crab is still soft. The shell can begin to grow back within a day, so harvesting the crabs at just the right time is of the utmost importance. I tried soft shell crab once years ago, and was utterly disappointed that it was a small, not-so-soft-shell crab that was mostly inedible. I googled it, and sure enough, they are served fried or sautéed, often as a sandwich, and you eat the whole thing as its served to you, those little crunchy legs and all. It was too crunchy for me, but maybe the one I had just wasn’t as tender as it was supposed to be. I didn’t say anything to her when she ordered it, because I assumed she knew what it was that she was ordering. As it turns out, she didn’t realize that a soft shell crab was something entirely different from the crab meat we are familiar with that comes from crab legs or a can of crab (I’m not referring to the fake crab meat sticks that are made of fish and have no shell). So what she ordered did not quite meet her expectation. Sounds like a lot of times in life, when expectation and reality don’t meet. Sometimes it happens because we make assumptions. Sometimes its because we don’t ask the right questions and so don’t get the information we need. And maybe sometimes its just happenstance. Enjoy the sandwich (crunch crunch)!

It's a Fun Friday....by Jodi

It's called Fun Friday. I have been teaching this class 17 years. Basically, it is a place to bring a child between the ages of 1-4 and they get to play! I offer free play with lots of toys, circle time with a few songs, a play dough table and a simple craft. I also send kids   away with a parachute dance and a simple song with a puppet, sticker and 2 pretzels. Packed in an hour and it is just as much for the adults as the kids, everyone has a good time.

People bring their grandchildren, their own children, they sign up with their friends or neighbors, they bring children they care for and some bring more than one child. Dads come to play, siblings come to have fun, aunts bring their cameras and moms just come to chat. The class is designed for everyone to come and have a great time and they usually do! It's a good thing.

Many have tried to take my place at various times in my life but few have been able to. I designed this class around my strengths and what I wanted to share with my own child when he was so small. Mostly the same songs are sung each week because children like repetitive motions, they like to know what to count on. A simple craft is offered each class. I always tease and say the crafts are for the adults to relax with. It's really just there to expose kids to various stickers, markers, glue, tissue papers and construction papers. This class is meant to be fun and if the kids learn something while we're at it, more power to them!

It's designed to be an hour long class and it is meant to have an adult watch over the child to make sure they don't beat another child or take the toy he plays with. Kids learn how to share, pick up toys or sing songs. It is a good thing because most people figure out that the kids can play and the grownups can watch them but still chat with the other grownups. The adults direct the kids to the activity but it is ultimately up to the child, as to what he gets out of it, know it or not. The class meets for 4 hour long classes during a 4 week session. 4 weeks pass quickly and people usually come back, we have many alumni with adults bringing all their offspring through the program, it's a cool thing.

To be the class facilitator you need to be easy going. Mean, crybaby kids come out once in a blue moon, you need to be understanding. The job is to make them feel like it's the way everyone is at sometime and this too shall pass, that is the reality, it will pass! People come to class late but it's designed so they can pick it up and join in at anytime. The philosophy has to be, the more the merrier, because it is more fun with more kids present. A facilitator needs to be on time, everything needs to be ready to be messed up and don't be upset if things don't go the way they are planned. An instructor needs to be able to go by the seat of his pants. It's a time for children and grown ups to explore and use their imaginations.

If you set it up, they will come, and come they do. The people become your friends. You know what is happening with their lives. Hopefully, they will bring their additional kids to class, usually they do. Sometimes, we go to a place the kids can play in a playland and adults can eat lunch and continue to chat, it's a fun time to be had by all. Sometimes, I organize a Mom's Night Out so the moms can just go out to play, which is also fun to do. This class is designed by me, taught by me and looks easier to teach than it really is, which is also by careful design. That is my idea of a Fun Friday!

My Sister in Spirit....by Lisa

Well, she wrote about me so I’m writing about her. We have been friends in sunshine and in rain, as the saying goes. We met in 10^th grade, when we were both in the fall play-I think it was Arsenic and Old Lace. We lived across the street from each other so it was convenient for carpooling, and that helped our friendship along. I remember being in the car and we were all singing along with the radio, “Sad Eyes”. Jodi had this little dog named Kwi (pronounced Chi, like the greek letter), and he was ferocious. He was going to devour me alive with all the energy his 10 pounds of fur could muster. I had to hide in her closet until he could be cooped up so he wouldn’t bite me. We used to play tennis together at the tennis courts where I lived, we rode the bus when we had to and endured being taunted by the kids who lived in the trailer park. Jodi and Mike would pick me up and drive me to school sometimes so I didn’t have to ride the bus, thank goodness. In Spanish class, in the “6^th Grade Club”, we called the bus the Big Yellow Taxi. Our friend Daryl was in the club, in fact I think he invented it. He was an unconventional kid who drew drawings a la Mad Magazine, usually involving depictions of people with boogers coming out of their noses.  There was a guy named Dan in the class, and although I don’t think he was really part of the 6^th grade club, he used to let me wear his class ring around school, which I thought was really cool, because we weren’t dating. Anyway, Jodi and I used to make collages a lot, with cutout pictures and words from magazines. And we tried to write each other notes in Spanish. Jodi came and saw my infant son in 1984 when I was home visiting, and then I didn’t see her again until her wedding to Mike. After that we didn’t see each other until April 2010—about a 20 year gap! We lost touch at times but always found each other. Jodi has wisdom like no one else in my life-and what I appreciate so much about her is that she is the only person who will really tell it to me straight. She calls me out on my “stuff”, tells it like it is. She tells me to grow up and get my act together when I need to be told that, even if I don’t like it (she’s right). I need that and I know where I can go to get the truth, spoken in love. She is my sister in spirit, and I’m so thankful for her presence in my life. We’re different but alike. We can talk until we are out of words and still have things to say. She loves me and I know it, and that is priceless, like the things you can’t buy with Mastercard! I hope she knows that I love her too, and that I treasure the friendship we share. Hugs!

Ya' Gotta Have Friends... by Jodi

I want to write about my very dear friend, Wahooman, fondly known as Lisa. Have I told you how wonderful I think she is? She is a super duper friend and human being!

I met Lisa when I was a sophomore in high school. She lived across the street from me and we rode the same school bus. Lisa is so smart, because of that, we only had Spanish together throughout high school. We sure had a fun time in that class being in the '6th grade club' (inside joke). We had lunch together and we were in the sophomore play together. After my first marriage, we had a gap in our friendship and only spoke every few years. Then one day we started being close friends again. We used to joke about 'when we would be old ladies' and now we are certainly on our way!

One of our 'worst' moments of friendship, we were mean girls. We had waited in the lunch line at school and sat down to eat lunch together. There was this odd girl who we fondly called, "Griz". Still to this very day Lisa calls her sister, "Griz." She wasn't the one who sat down at our table to eat lunch that day though. We were in disbelief, right there "Griz" sat down with us! I started to giggle and Lisa started to giggle, this was totally out of character for a girl like this girl. This was a large girl who we believed bordered on being mentally challenged and she was sitting with us! We couldn't hold back our laughter and actually got up and left the table! Last time Lisa came out, we spoke about the hilarity of it and we couldn't fathom how mean it was of us to leave the table, holding in our comments and chuckles. It really was a horrible thing to do, this girl showed the bravery of sitting down with us and we reacted horribly to it. We agreed it was not our shining moment and really out of character for us to be so mean. But, we were just young girls and had no clue we were being so awful. Today, we might discuss how bizarre her behavior was at a later date, but we would welcome anyone to sit with us and break bread. A case of when we sure learned our lesson!

Lisa has given me great advice. She has a lot of insight about things. We chat about parents, being one and having them. We eat together and cook together. I remember making 'Zucchini Frittata' and I still make it to this day. I remember finding the recipe in "Seventeen" magazine, I still have the original copy of it. We were together when Lady Diana married Prince Charles, I remember Lisa's haircut was like Di's. I remember the day she told me she got it her hair cut like the Princess. We were together again for the day the royal couple tied the knot this year. We chatted about it and I reminded her of that haircut she got so many moons ago.

Lisa has been so good to me. She sends me surprises through the mail and comes out to visit me. I wish we lived closer. She makes me feel good. She chats with me daily, we e-mail, text and chat on the phone. We play 'Words With Friends' together (even though I am on hiatus) and we write this blog together! Lisa is such a gifted writer and I enjoy her perspective on things. We spoke together about blogs and she has inspired me to write again. She has inspired me to do many things and I am eternally grateful for her. She guides me through this maddening thing called life, I don't know what I would do without her friendship. I hope I never find out again! Thanks Wahooman, I love you.

The Lesser of the Evils?....by Lisa

This time we’re writing about our own bad habits and vices. I sought input from my highly trusted advisors who know me well (jive translation—my family and close friends). My daughter said, without hesitation, that I worry too much sometimes. Fair enough. She also tells me I drive with one hand sometimes, and that gives her the willies (she’s learning to drive, so I think that’s good).  And hey, I’m not the one who has dented the cars and backed into buildings (that was Kate’s dad, oops). And she says that a little more than often, I am tense. I was surprised to learn that she can sense it so well. Got any instant cures for that?

Another of my loved ones tells me I overanalyze things. Hey, I’m female! I look for the hidden meaning in things people say and don’t say. I thought that was an innate female trait. They say that one’s greatest strength can also be one’s greatest weakness. That is definitely the case with my analyzing interactions with people, and relationships. I call myself an amateur psychologist, and much of the time my read on people is correct. I also tend to “help others too much”. I’m not sure whether those who benefit from it would think it’s too much, but I do have a strong desire and need to be helpful. It’s my calling, and I’ve thought that since I was a kid. I have learned over time that I need to keep tabs on it, because sometimes I can get wrapped up in giving help that really isn’t needed or wanted.

I don’t smoke, am not addicted to alcohol or drugs, and I hate roller coasters. I’m not into high-risk behaviors. I do love iced tea and drink it multiple times a day, because a day without tea is like a day without sunshine. I have started the bad habit of drinking diet pop almost daily, and I wish I would kick that habit. I have taken to liking cupcakes an awful lot, because they are so pretty and delicious. I intend to exercise every day but I don’t do it on days when I’m not with my walking buddy (thanks Lynda for keeping me going). I don’t bite my nails or crack my knuckles. I’m told I talk too much—hey, women have to get like 25,000 words a day in. Ladies, unite! Talk to me! I’m sometimes too neat and tidy for the people around me. I do “kitchen work” before going to bed so that there are no dirty dishes in the sink. Overall, I just try too hard, try to please other people, to be “good enough”, and I usually think that somehow I fail. I’m much too hard on myself. That’s where I am right now and how I will end for today—I have to learn to stop beating myself up.

"You Can't Always Get What You Want..."by Jodi

What are my vices? Chocolate, without a doubt. Sweets, from cake to pie. Sex, I really like! Lip balm, no doubt about it. My ipad as well but because I use it for notes and stuff. I would have said pad and paper at one time. Food is good too. Can you tell eating might be an issue?

In the past, what have been your vices? Mochas from Starbucks, with whip, please. I also went through a chai tea stage, from any coffeehouse, morning, noon or night. Was addicted to diet soda. Went through a diet Mug root beer stage, moved to a diet, caffiene-free Pepsi addiction which turned into diet 7Up addiction. Gave up the fancy hot drinks during Lent this year, even though I had a mocha the first day I could, I haven't had one since. Tried giving up soda, cut it way back to one or two a day. I will give that up sometime in the near future. I have started drinking tap water with lots of ice. Those are my recent vices. Past vices? Wine, sangria, margaritas, basically, any mixed fruity drink. I never became an alcoholic but I easily could have. It runs in my family, I enjoy the taste of booze. I was drinking a lot in my early 20's and heard on the radio that many people turn into alcoholics because they don't get hangovers. I never got a hangover, I cut back on my drinking and avoided that problem. Last drink I had was a shot of Ouzo with Dan, that was pretty darn good, but enough. Last drink before that, I had vodka and lemonade that went right to my head, that was over two years ago. Went through a cloves stage. I love the smell of burning cloves, it can make me feel lightheaded. It stopped like it started, never turned into a habit. Many people in my life have vices I could make my own. Gambling is a big one. I like to play BIG but I can't afford to lose so I stay away from it. I could play the horses really easily but stay away from there too. I used to be addicted to working out, that lasted about 3 years. I was addicted to the spa, that lasted about 5 years. I have been guilty of some OCD things in the past but they went in a hurry. I was addicted to the "fat chick room" on AOL but I met Dan, he took care of that one! 

I am addicted to food. That could be why I have always battled my weight? I love chocolate, just having it daily makes me smile. I used to be addicted to ice cream, had to have it daily, now I just enjoy it now and again, the sweetness is too much. I like french fries and pizza, my downfalls. I need to have them each at least once, if not two or three times a week. I like the richness in desserts, I usually share though. I have given up a lot of that stuff in my day, it isn't that tough for me to avoid. Food, in general, works for me. From grilled steaks, to breakfast to enchiladas, I can be in the mood for food. I love veggies and I could have a thing for fresh bread and butter. I like butter, not like I used to, but I still enjoy butter. I have a wide and varied food thing happening. Might have to do with boredom and entertainment? I will consult my therapist. Trust me when I say, I like sex. Totally was addicted to it, enjoy it now as well but I am not addicted to it. Though, I could be again? Ultimately, I really need my lip balm! I use it like 5 times an hour. I am addicted to having moist lips. I have a tube everywhere I go, in my purse, next to the bed, by the tv, next to the computer. I buy it from Trader Joe's in the 3 pack. If I was on a deserted island, what 5 things would I need? Water, my Bible, my working iPad, Dan and my lip balm! Not in any specific order, mind you. What if I could only have one thing? Argh! Counting on..."If you try sometime, you just mind find, you get what you need."

Happy Mother's Day....by Lisa

It’s Mother’s Day this weekend. I’m heading to my mom’s for the weekend, as I have done for the last few years. It’s really important to her to see her children on that day, so I decided I would honor that.

Mother’s Day reminds me of the other mothers who have been so important in my life—my two grandmothers being first and foremost. I’ve written about them before, but they get a mention again today. When I was little, we lived closer to my dad’s parents, who were in upstate New York. Aliene was the zany grandma, and I loved going to spend time at their house (plus my sister wasn’t there so I got all the attention). I used to drop pennies down the register in the floor just for kicks—so then my grandfather would go clean them out when I wasn’t there. I danced in the sunbeams coming through the windows in the living room, not realizing that that foggy looking stuff was dust floating in them. I played with the cats, when they would tolerate me, and watched out the window at night when the possums came to eat the leftovers my grandmother left out for them. Adeline was the more serious, traditional grandmother. She told me after I had a baby at age 19 that men need a lot more reassurance than women. A surprising thing for her to say, but it is so true. It sticks with me because her telling me that made me feel like an adult and not a child. She yelled at us in a rare moment when the squabbling between my sister and I pushed her buttons. And she told us repeatedly that our mother was a much better mother than she had been. On her deathbed, my mom told her that she was a good mother. “Oh, shit” was her reply (and she never used profanity!). I used to send Mother’s Day cards to both my grandmothers, and I was so sad when they were not here any more to send those cards to. Adeline always sent me a card after I had my son, and every year I was so touched by that. Now I have found other mothers who add immeasurably to my life and to whom I send cards. I send one to my stepmom, and one to my neighbor who has been my friend for 20 years. I send one to my “Cincinnati Mom”, who says she would be proud to have me as a daughter and calls me one of the daughters she never had. We’ve been through thick and thin together. I sent one to my now ex-mother-in-law, because I miss her and she is my daughter’s grandmother. There are many more women in my life who are mothers, and whose friendship means more to me than words can express. I meant to send one to Jodi but didn’t get it in the mail in time (love u Wahooman, card or no card!). So this year I will celebrate with my mom and sister and nieces, and my daughter (my son lives 500 miles away). I will give thanks for another year together, another year that we all have been granted, another chance to send those cards and say the things that are important to say. I love you Mom, and all my “other moms”. Happy Mother’s Day.

Have a Happy Mother's Day...by Jodi

We are going to celebrate Mother's Day 2011 this year, Yahoo!

My own mother apologized to me for not sending me a card this year, I told her we didn't need cards to tell each other we were mothers, we would always be mothers! Lisa apologized that she didn't get a card in the mail and probably my own son won't even get me a card, I will still be a mother and it's fine with me not to get a card. Cards are overrated anyway, I would rather have a just because card for no reason at all, that is the kinda' girl I tend to be. I used to send cards but now I seldom wander into a card shop, they have gotten rather pricey and I tend to lose my patience for finding the perfect card anymore. My feelings are still there, they might even be deeper nowadays, I just don't send cards too much anymore.

Mothers come in many ways, shapes and forms for many people. I love my mom, she was my mom and that is what I think I love the most about her. My sisters are fabulous mothers. My niece and nephew are on opposite ends of the age spectrum but they are both awesome in their own right! My son is most awesome to me, of course! All of the women in my life are fabulous moms in their own right, everyone has a gift, everyone is fabulous in their own way.

Ever since I was a child, we never really went out for Mother's Day. I can go out any day of the year. I really like going to church on Mother's Day. One of my favorite years was the year I left my ex-husband and went back to the town I grew up in. My mother and I went to church together that year. We put a young Travis in childcare and attended the service, during it, the church elders prayed over the hands of each mother in the service that day, it was beautiful to me. It was so powerful to think of the hands of our mother, grandmother or whomever, holding your hand in joy or sorrow. Hands that care for those who are healthy by buttoning a coat on a chilly day to feeling the forehead to see if there was a fever. I will always remember that day, I loved it!

There are so many things to say about mothers. We can send cards, order flowers or candy or go out for a meal to celebrate the day. There are as many ways to celebrate as there are mothers in the world. It means something different to each person. I think the most important thing to do is call your mom to tell her you love and appreciate her. If she is close enough to visit, do so. If she has passed on, say a prayer and celebrate her in some way. Spend some time to celebrate her and the fact that she gave you life. It's all about her today! Make it a happy Mother's Day everyone!

Is It Wrong?....by Lisa

The news seemed to come out of nowhere, mired in Libya, $4.37/gallon gas, health care reform that no one agrees with, never-ending wars in Afghanistan and Iraq, and the list goes on. Suddenly, Osama bin Laden is dead, reportedly at the hands of American Navy Seals. Remember how we felt when we saw the Afghans celebrating in their streets when our Twin Towers were destroyed? That’s how our celebrations earlier this week must have looked.

I don’t like any of it. To me, all of this is a grotesque failure of diplomacy, and of human beings to understand each other. The math doesn’t work for me that the murder of one crazy old man, an act of retaliation against what he and his followers have done to us, is justice. The death of one man is payment for the loss of so many precious, innocent lives? I just don’t buy it. The means, being the cost in human lives and in dollars, is not justified by the end, the death of one cave-dwelling coward. Just because we said we would take him out doesn’t mean we should have. And the idea that the death of this one man will make a big difference in the “fight against terror” just doesn’t hit the mark for me. We’ve seen this over and over throughout history. These types always have a slew of understudies just waiting to step into the limelight. Extremism exists in many if not all religions, including Christianity, so don’t go getting all indignant. Are we any better than the terrorists if we hunt them and take them out? Does retaliation by violence and murder put an end to violence and murder? Already the news reports warn of the risk of retaliation. How ironic—our act of relatiation will be retaliated against. This is all so senseless. Why do we think it is easier, better, cheaper (?!) to wage violent acts of aggression than to sit at the bargaining table and develop an understanding of those who are not like us? Oh—I forgot. War is big business. Remember Dick Cheney and Halliburton? See Dick get rich on the backs of minority soldiers for whom the military is the best way out of poverty. Shameful!

What a sad state of affairs. We all have blood on our hands and I pray for the humility to ask God’s forgiveness. I wish that all of those who vote to wage war had to send their children to the battlefield—maybe they would give diplomacy another shot. (That’s a pun) I will end with this paragraph from a report on NPR’s website:

The Roman Catholic Church responded to the news of bin Laden's death with this statement: "Faced with the death of a man, a Christian never rejoices, but reflects on the serious responsibility of everyone before God and man, and hopes and pledges that every event is not an opportunity for a further growth of hatred, but of peace.”

The Age of Innocence....by Jodi

I saw it first on Facebook, on the United States of America page. I told Dan and he asked where I heard that. It is history. We watched the President announce it on the news. Osama bin Laden is dead. The 'mastermind' of 9/11, the individual responsible for the murders of many individuals, including 'his own kind'. They stormed his home, he tried to hide behind a woman, isn't that lovely? They stormed his compound and found Pepsi, Coca-Cola and tons of hair products. He called our lives extravagant but look at his. So much for living in a hole, he didn't live without convenience.

He's finally dead. Am I happy? I'm not feeling real bad here. He changed our world, not for the good. With him gone, is that the end of terrorism? No way, there will be someone to take his place or already is. With him gone, will the war end? Sadly, not anytime soon. We won the battle but certainly not the war. Will this war ever end? I have my doubts. Often times, I don't think this war will ever end. Will gas prices drop? I don't think that will happen anytime soon either.

Our illustrious President gets kudos for going after and being persistent in finding this man. He apparently has known bin Laden has been in that location since August of last year. He assigned the military to keep watchful eyes on it and strike at just the right time. There was the decision to invade the compound to bring back evidence that this man was guilty of the crimes that we say he was. I commend the team that went in and brought justice to so many. They gave closure to people, they thought they never would have, that closure means so much. I can't help but think of the words of Jesus, "It is finished." not because bin Laden was in any way like Christ but because this chapter is finished, it's done, now what?  

People want to see proof that Osama bin Laden is now dead. Obama says we will not release the graphic photographs. In my opinion, those photos will be leaked in some way, shape or form. What is the President hiding? Who knows, is he hiding anything? Do we really need to see the man dead? I don't really care to. I didn't lose anyone on 9/11, I wouldn't begin to answer for them. I do consider war equals death though, it's just how I am. 

Indians or excuse me, Native Americans, are angry because apparently this invasion was called, "Geranimo." There is a whole contention that Americans are biased and Native Americans are still considered second class citizens. Really? Do they really think anyone thought to kick them in the face and name this invasion after Indians? Can we please not continue to harbor negative feelings that are like 300 years old? Can we say that this invasion was given that name because Osama alluded capture like Geranimo did so long ago?

There are many thoughts and feelings brought to mind after this deadly chapter of history. America has a lot of tumultuous times in her past and yet to come, I am sure. We won't forget the day the world changed forever. We won't forget lives that have been lost and families that have been changed. We won't forget this day, I won't. It will be chalked in as historic and we will move on to the next thing. No matter how we feel about the things that have happened, I think we can agree on one thing, the world has been changed forever. Innocence is going to soon be a thing of the past, or is it already? 

What Health Means to Me....by Lisa

What does it mean to be in good health? I’m reminded of my grandmother, Adeline, and her focus on a healthy diet and exercise. I still have her old blue hardcover copy of Adele Davis’s Let’s Get Well, and I refer to it once in a while to see what vitamin is good for what ailment. As a pharmacist, of course I believe in using prescription drugs, but as Adeline’s granddaughter, I also believe in prevention of disease with a healthy diet and lifestyle. That said, I’m not a huge proponent of herbal medicines or vitamins. I think that if you eat a balanced diet, you should be getting what you need as far as vitamins. We all need to eat more fresh fruits and vegetables. I was surprised to learn from a friend that Weight Watchers allows unlimited fruits and vegetables—with the thought that people aren’t becoming overweight by eating just those types of foods. And on the subject of herbals, caution is warranted—just because they are natural does not mean they are safe. There is wide variation in how they are manufactured and their potency. So although in theory they are good for various ailments (such as St. John’s Wort for depression), they can have many drug interactions (St. John’s Wort is notorious for these) and they can be toxic. If you take any of these, make sure to share that information with your doctor, especially if you take any other prescription or OTC meds.

Anyway, back to my grandmother. We probably ate dinner at her house 3-4 times a week when I was growing up. The meals were always cooked from scratch, and we didn’t eat at restaurants much. She didn’t like us to have hot dogs or any kind of preserved meats, because they contained nitrites and preservatives that were unhealthy. She made vegetable salads with gelatin, the plain unflavored gelatin from the health food store—not Jello. Dessert to her was a homemade banana bread with golden raisins and walnuts, and it was made with wheat flour. There weren’t usually things like Oreo cookies or any kind of store-bought desserts. We also made our own salad dressings. I’m not complaining about any of this! She was a good cook and we learned to cook and to eat healthfully. My mom was strict about our diets too. She didn’t keep pop in the house, or chips of any kind, and we didn’t have sugary cereals (my children have grown up with all of those items in the house, although they also know how to cook and eat healthfully). We had wheat bread, not Wonder bread. I’m so thankful now that I learned these habits as a child, because I know that even when you want to make a positive change, it can be really difficult—our eating habits are so ingrained in us that they are hard to change. As far as exercise, my grandmother used to say that people wouldn’t need health clubs (before they were called “the gym”) if they would just do yard work. There is some truth to that. She did a hard day’s work even into her 60s, in between bouts of cancer. I’m sure that even at age 65, she could do a harder day’s physical work than I could have. Its ironic that she died young, at 68, from cancer. The one who was so health conscious had a 10-year battle with cancer. Its also ironic that my other grandparents both smoked from the time they were in their teens, and drank every day, and yet both lived into their 80s,  and in their own home, until just days before they died. Go figure. Good protoplasm, I guess. Now I bake my own bread every week, and try to get more fruits and vegetables and less carbs into my family’s diet. I walk every day at work with a friend, and I’m trying to increase my activity. I’ve never really liked exercise for exercise’s sake, and I always hated gym class in school (with a passion). I wasn’t an athlete but now I wish I had been. So in the name of good health, I think I’ll eat some salad, and contemplate learning indoor rock climbing, and I’ll dream about how cool it might be to row crew. To our good health!

Good Health....by Jodi

We all want to be healthy and not just a pack of skin and bones. At this point in time, and for most of my adult life I have been considered obese. Even for about the past few years, I have been in a size 14, I have still been considered obese. I have always gotten away with it, so to speak, I have always dated guys that were younger than me, I was 35 and dated 25 year olds, doesn't that count for something? Maybe I'm just immature? Marilyn Monroe was said to be a size 14, yet I am obese!

Since I am approaching my 50's, I am more concerned with my health. I am concerned with my blood pressure, more of my friends have knee surgery and wear those sleep apnea masks to bed. I hear people talk about Botox and Juvederm and women especially are thinking about or have gotten plastic surgery of some sort, whether it be fake breasts or their eyes 'done'. I think I have lived more of my life than I have left. Health is a concern for me. I know carrying extra weight is a negative thing and it concerns me. It concerns me like it never has before because I am there now.

In this society, we seem to question everything, should we smoke or not smoke? Drink alcohol or not drink alcohol? Eat organics or not eat organics? What about vitamins? Should we lift weights or walk? What are the right answers? I think we just have to do what is best for us and hope we don't get killed in a car wreck or plane crash! There seems to be data to support everything. One report says one thing and another report tells us something else. Stress also plays into it, can we handle it or can't we? Do we want to? It seems like we have to be able to handle a lot, eh? Yeah, so what else is new?

Some things can be environmental and some things tend to be genetics, it just boils down to what does good health mean to you? To me, good health means being able to do what you want to do, when you want to do it. It means living everything in moderation. I haven't been doing that, I have been living very large! I need to stop it now because it has gotten me nothing but trouble, in the form of diabetes, a couple of strokes and who knows what else is on my horizon? I am not even 50 yet and I have to deal with some major health issues, that are not so easy to turn around! All I can do right now is try to make changes and the correct decisions from here on in. I thought that I had awhile before I had to make choices but guess what? My decisions have come earlier than I planned!

Good health is my choice. It is not easy for me but I am going to go for it, what else do I have to do?