Mother’s Day reminds me of the other mothers who have been so important in my life—my two grandmothers being first and foremost. I’ve written about them before, but they get a mention again today. When I was little, we lived closer to my dad’s parents, who were in upstate New York. Aliene was the zany grandma, and I loved going to spend time at their house (plus my sister wasn’t there so I got all the attention). I used to drop pennies down the register in the floor just for kicks—so then my grandfather would go clean them out when I wasn’t there. I danced in the sunbeams coming through the windows in the living room, not realizing that that foggy looking stuff was dust floating in them. I played with the cats, when they would tolerate me, and watched out the window at night when the possums came to eat the leftovers my grandmother left out for them. Adeline was the more serious, traditional grandmother. She told me after I had a baby at age 19 that men need a lot more reassurance than women. A surprising thing for her to say, but it is so true. It sticks with me because her telling me that made me feel like an adult and not a child. She yelled at us in a rare moment when the squabbling between my sister and I pushed her buttons. And she told us repeatedly that our mother was a much better mother than she had been. On her deathbed, my mom told her that she was a good mother. “Oh, shit” was her reply (and she never used profanity!). I used to send Mother’s Day cards to both my grandmothers, and I was so sad when they were not here any more to send those cards to. Adeline always sent me a card after I had my son, and every year I was so touched by that. Now I have found other mothers who add immeasurably to my life and to whom I send cards. I send one to my stepmom, and one to my neighbor who has been my friend for 20 years. I send one to my “Cincinnati Mom”, who says she would be proud to have me as a daughter and calls me one of the daughters she never had. We’ve been through thick and thin together. I sent one to my now ex-mother-in-law, because I miss her and she is my daughter’s grandmother. There are many more women in my life who are mothers, and whose friendship means more to me than words can express. I meant to send one to Jodi but didn’t get it in the mail in time (love u Wahooman, card or no card!). So this year I will celebrate with my mom and sister and nieces, and my daughter (my son lives 500 miles away). I will give thanks for another year together, another year that we all have been granted, another chance to send those cards and say the things that are important to say. I love you Mom, and all my “other moms”. Happy Mother’s Day.
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