The Right Stuff by Jodi

Marriage should be able to withstand the sands of time. Can it? That is the million dollar question. When you get married for the first time, you never think about being divorced. Never think about sharing divorce papers with this person. Dividing the kids and the assets, how do you do that? You think you signed up in the good line and won't have any worries. Isn't that a joke? Then, the second marriage comes along, the 2.0 version, are all the bugs out yet? You are ramped up, talk about challenging, it is.

Marriage is full of worries; the mortgage, the cars, the kids, the sex, to name a few. Are marriages even supposed to withstand all of it? Would you rather do it alone? I sure as heck do not wish to be married each day but I am. I signed up for it and with my husband, I am in the trenches, trying to keep it in order. One day, a newly divorced friend said to me that she didn't need anyone in her life. I thought of how many times and ways I need my husband daily. I need someone to talk to, hug, or just hold my hand. I think of all the things we have faced in the past years and I need him just to get by. I need him but more importantly, I want him, I have chosen him to be by my side.

Recently, my husband and I hit a bump in the marriage road. A girlfriend said to me, "What will make you happy?" I really had to think about it. What I was doing at that moment would not give me happiness. I knew to find my true happiness, I had to change it up. We still are angry with each other but we know we want to be together and work on the things that need work, and so we are. I chose him because he is worthwhile to me. I put a value on him and his opinions. Our differences will ebb and flow but I know that whether I share good news or bad news with him, it is him I want to share it with, in the end.

We think differently. We have different hobbies. We like different foods, music and cars. We have a different religion. We have more things different about each other than alike but it works. Do I hate that we behave differently? Yes, but we take those differences and we look for positives and move forward. What else can we do? I love this man and he loves me. At the end of the day, it is his lips I want on mine. At the end of that chosen day, even though I might think he is dumb, I prefer his "dumb ass" be next to me than someone else's.

Marriage is not for the weak hearted. In order to do it well, allowances need to be made. Sometimes we are wrong or can't have our own way. We see that life is a series of temporary results and we can let it ride or choose permanent decisions. This thing called life is in perpetual movement, can you let it move and be alright with it? Only you know the answer to the question. I think it changes based on the day and the events. The person you have chosen to love is flawed but guess what? So are you! The question is, can you overlook those flaws? Are you supposed to be with another person? Will you give on your good days and your bad days? Will you be able to just be? Again, only you can answer these questions. Different things will change and you will have different responses depending on that day, but ultimately, the question that needs to be answered is, "Do you have the right stuff?"